Embracing Grief: Crafting a Depthful Character in Your Story

When crafting a character who has not overcome the loss of a loved one, the first step is to understand the emotional journey they are on. This journey is a complex and deeply personal one, requiring a nuanced approach to storytelling. Here are some key points to consider and techniques to employ to create a rich and believable character who is grappling with grief.

Understanding the Basics of Your Character

When creating any character, draw from your own experiences and emotions. If you have lost someone dear, this can serve as a powerful foundation for your writing. Creative writing, much like painting, is about capturing emotions and translating them into words. Engaging in this process not only enhances your writing skills but also deepens your understanding of your characters.

Expanding Your Horizons

Go beyond what you know. While personal experiences are invaluable, creativity allows you to explore new dimensions and depths. Think about the core of your character’s grief. Is it anger, sadness, acceptance, or perhaps a mix of all these emotions? Knowing where your character sits on the grief spectrum will help you paint a more authentic picture.

Show, Don’t Tell: A Fundamental Technique

One of the most important rules in creative writing is to show, not tell. Avoid summarizing or directly stating your character’s emotions. Instead, let the reader experience these emotions through subtle cues and actions. Here is an example of a well-executed scene:

Original (Telling):
Sadly, the old man haunted the empty house, his heart broken by grief.

Revised (Showing):
With dragging feet, the old man crossed the darkened room to peer out the window at the falling snow, a shroud on his lawn. In past years he would have shared this with Cindy. But she was gone. Gone forever. His hand on the window balled into a fist. His heart pounded, and anger flushed his cheeks, a touch of warmth. He wanted to smash his fist through the glass, exchanging one pain for another that might be easier to live with. He didn’t, for windows cost money, and the funeral had left him with little cash. He spoke into his own emptiness.

Dealing with the Stages of Grief

In dealing with a character who hasn’t overcome the loss, it’s crucial to understand the stages of grief. These stages were first described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Choose the stage that best fits your character’s emotional state.

An Example:
If your character is feeling deep depression, they might withdraw from social interactions and focus on their grief. Here’s how you can depict this:

He trudged through the house, each step heavy with sorrow. The once-lively dining room was now a quiet tomb, the sound of his footsteps the only noise. Every time he passed a photograph of Cindy, his heart clenched tighter. Why couldn’t he escape the pain? Why did it have to linger so frigidly in every corner of his life? He lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, the room diminishing around him until it felt like a solitary capsule of sorrow.

Contrast this with anger, where your character might lash out or be confrontational. For example:

He slammed his fist against the kitchen table, the wood creaking under the force. How dare she take everything away? How could she snatch not just her life but the pieces of what he cherished most with her? He couldn’t stop the tears that streaked down his face or the roar of anger that filled him. He had to crush something. Anything. He reached for the vase on the counter, its delicate beauty a cruel contrast to his tumultuous emotions. It shattered with a satisfying splinter, the broken pieces scattering across the floor like a myriad of stars, each cutting straight to his heart.

Conclusion

Crafting a character who has not overcome the death of a loved one is a profound and challenging task. By delving into your own emotions and experiences, focusing on showing rather than telling, and understanding the stages of grief, you can create a character that resonates deeply with your readers. Remember, the goal is to create an authentic and relatable narrative that captures the raw emotion of loss.