Literature
Are Flying Monkeys Victims or Complicit in Narcissistic Abuse?
Are Flying Monkeys Victims or Complicit in Narcissistic Abuse?
Introduction to Manipulation and Poisonous Dynamics
The term 'flying monkeys' refers to individuals who are manipulated by a narcissist to perform actions that benefit the narcissist while furthering their harmful agenda. This term stems from the The Wizard of Oz story, where the flying monkeys serve the Wicked Witch of the West, carrying out her orders without question.
Manipulation can take many forms, such as emotional manipulation, coercion, or social pressures. Victims of manipulation may not realize they are being used, leading them to believe they are acting in the best interest of the narcissist or the situation. This unawareness can stem from a combination of emotional manipulation, misinformation, or their own vulnerabilities.
The Complex Role of Flying Monkeys
The concept of 'flying monkeys' is multifaceted, as these individuals can indeed be seen as victims. However, their actions and behaviors contribute to the cycle of abuse, often enabling the narcissist's harmful behaviors. The role of a flying monkey is not static; they can exhibit both victimhood and complicity.
Victims of Manipulation
Many flying monkeys are victims of manipulation. They may be unaware of the harmful dynamics at play and live in a world where they are systematically deceived. Emotionally, they may be manipulated into believing they are serving a greater purpose. This lack of awareness can be attributed to trust issues, fear, low self-esteem, or a strong desire for approval and acceptance.
Complicit by Choice
While some flying monkeys may genuinely be unaware, others knowingly participate in the harmful actions of the narcissist. For instance, one individual stated, 'Before I discovered the correct terminology, I thought of my narcissist’s accomplices as "cronies," but of two types - naive or toxic.' The toxic cronies share the same malicious intent as the narcissist, while the naive cronies, or enablers, may have poor values and judgment but are still contributing to the cycle of abuse.
Naive vs. Toxic Cronies
Naive cronies or enablers are often seen as victims to some extent. They may be influenced by emotional ties, fear, or a desire for a sense of belonging. However, their naivety can be devastating for those around them. On the other hand, toxic cronies willingly participate in the harmful behavior, aware of the manipulation and yet choosing to serve its purpose. It’s important to note that both types of cronies contribute to an unhealthy and toxic interpersonal environment.
Personal Reflections
One person shared their perspective: 'I would say both…. They’re victims because they don’t realize what they’re dealing with, accomplice because in my case, anyway, they knew he was married and didn’t care. Those are just my thoughts….' This reflection highlights the complexity of the situation, where individuals can be both victims and accomplices based on their level of awareness and personal choices.
Enabling vs. Being Enablers
Enabling can take many forms. Those who play the part of flying monkeys, serving the narcissist, show a lack of intelligence, common sense, and judgment. They often fall prey to manipulation techniques designed to exploit their vulnerabilities. They may be easily influenced and are not capable of making good judgments on their own. Conner Wood, a contributor to this site, has shed light on the dynamics of enabling and has taught many about the signs and behaviors of a narcissist. It is worth reading his work to gain further insight into this topic.
Concluding Thoughts
In the end, the role of a flying monkey is complex and multifaceted. While they can be victims of manipulation, their actions can also contribute to the cycle of abuse. It is crucial to recognize the signs of manipulation and enablement, as well as to take the necessary steps to break free from these dynamics. Awareness and self-reflection are the first steps towards reclaiming one's life and personal power.