Is Leave Justified When Emotional Abuse Occurs During Bipolar Manias?

Deciding whether to leave a partner who is experiencing a bipolar manic episode and engaging in emotional abuse is a complex and sensitive issue. Many factors, including medical considerations and the safety of all involved, must be weighed in this decision.

Understanding the Illness

Before addressing the ethical and emotional dilemmas, it is crucial to understand the nature of bipolar disorder and how it affects individuals during a manic phase. Bipolar disorder involves extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania) and lows (depression). When someone is in a manic phase, their behavior can become erratic, impulsive, and sometimes even volatile. This is a time when the individual is not fully in control and is unable to act responsibly. Taking medication is a critical part of managing bipolar disorder, and when not taken, the condition can manifest in ways that are harmful, including emotional abuse. Therefore, an individual suffering from an untreated manic episode may not be fitting the definition of a responsible partner, and their actions during this period may not be reflective of their true character.

Ethical Considerations

The promise of “In sickness and in health” is often seen as a sacred commitment, but when considering the ethical and practical dimensions of the situation, it is essential to look at the well-being of the individuals involved, including any children. As one commenter rightly points out, “If bipolar disorder is a disease of the brain, then it is not appropriate to hold a person responsible for their actions during a manic phase.” This view suggests that during a manic episode, the individual is not making rational decisions and should not be held accountable for their past actions. It is a delicate balance, especially when considering the long-term health and safety of the relationship and any children who might be present.

When weighing the pros and cons of leaving, it is important to consider the immediate risks posed by the emotional abuse. If the abuser poses a threat to the safety of the household, including any children, the decision to leave may be the only option. As one commenter advises, “It would probably be very helpful to talk this over with someone in real life—a friend, family member who’s somewhat removed from the situation, a faith leader, counselor—someone who can give you a real live hug!” Talking to a trusted friend or expert can provide clarity and support during this challenging time.

The Role of Therapy and Medication

For many, seeking therapy and medication is often the best way to address bipolar manias and emotional abuse. When a partner is open to professional help, it offers a chance for both individuals to work through these issues and learn healthier communication and coping strategies. However, if the individual refuses to seek help, the primary focus must be on the well-being of the victim. As one comment suggests, “Emotional abuse is not OK. It would be the best solution if your spouse were to choose therapy and medication.” This option presents the opportunity for long-term recovery and healing for both parties.

Self-Care and Self-Respect

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave must prioritize the emotional and physical well-being of the individual seeking refuge. The quote, “You should leave any person that brings toxicity in your life period”, highlights the importance of removing oneself from harmful situations. The comment also emphasizes the need for self-respect and self-love, stating, “You should leave anyone that abuses you on any form. You deserve to be loved and cared.” These reminders are crucial in guiding the decision-making process.

Moreover, the importance of self-care and self-respect is reiterated in the advice to prioritize one’s own well-being, as highlighted by: “It’s not your job to fix her.’’ Mature love is built on love, care, commitment, and respect, not Co-Dependency or rescuing someone else so they can love you.’’ This wisdom underscores the importance of setting boundaries and focusing on one’s own emotional and mental health.

Lastly, the quote, “If she is causing you harm, you should always learn to walk away from toxic people. We enter the relationship to share our completeness with the significant other, not to save them. The moment you try to save someone else, the relationship is already broken and it’s one you will need to take a good care of yourself and think with your head rather than feelings or emotions. Where did this relationship take you? What did you earn from this relationship while you were seeking stability and love? You got the opposite, you got abused.” This warning serves as a stark reminder that stay in a relationship for the purpose of saving someone else is ultimately harmful and can lead to further emotional and physical harm.

Conclusion: In deciding whether to leave a bipolar spouse during a manic episode with emotional abuse, the primary considerations should include medical and safety issues, the well-being of any children involved, and personal safety. Seeking professional help and guidance is crucial, and always prioritizing one’s own well-being is essential.

References:

1. “Emotional Abuse and Bipolar Disorder” 2. “Managing Bipolar Disorder During Manias” 3. “When a Loved One Is Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder”