Enhancing Your Writing: A Memo to Author-In-The-Making

Often, the second draft of a writer is their best. This is especially true when the initial paragraph is given careful thought. In conducting an analysis of a personal paragraph, we see a blend of emotion and narrative, yet it falls short in several critical areas. Let’s break it down and see how we can brighten the narrative.

Is Your Paragraph Emotively Rich?

Original: "Im in freefall. Into a chasm of lost hope tainted gold. A halo at my head whitens then is wiped away. I think of our time together. John."

Enhanced: "Drifting through the void, I feel a plunge into the abyss of lost hope, where dreams of a golden future shatter like broken glass. Confusion and anger converge as a radiant halo flickers brightly in my mind's eye before it is extinguished, leaving only the echo of a distant memory. John, you were my salvation, but now, I am adrift."

Adding Dynamic Tension

Original: "Yes its a properly written paragraph but not a well-written one. Its stating facts but lacking dynamic tension."

Enhanced: "This paragraph is a testament to the raw, untamed emotions it conveys but lacks the dynamic tension that pulls a reader into the narrative. To enrich the story, consider this: Drifting through the void, I feel a plunge into the abyss of lost hope, where dreams of a golden future shatter like broken glass. Confusion and anger converge as a radiant halo flickers brightly in my mind's eye before it is extinguished, leaving only the echo of a distant memory. John, you were my salvation, but now, I am adrift. Every step I take in the darkness brings me closer to a confrontation that can alter the course of my life."

Developing a Strong Protagonist

Original: "Need to be. Not really sure how the deep abyss can mutter of tarnished gold but it was so pretty I dont really care and will take your word for it."

Enhanced: "The deep abyss speaks in whispers of tarnished gold, a haunting reminder of better days now sunk in despair. But as I delve deeper, the fragility of my hope flickers, starkly illuminating the shadows. You were the light in my life, John, but now, I am alone, a lone warrior fighting against the encroaching darkness. Every step I take brings me closer to the truth, the key to unlocking my destiny."

Conclusion

In the quest to elevate your writing, consider these aspects to craft a narrative that resonates with readers. The paragraph starts with a powerful emotional core, but can be enhanced by adding moments of confrontation and the evolution of the protagonist's journey. Your readers will find themselves engrossed in the narrative, propelled forward by the dynamic interplay of hope, despair, and the relentless pursuit of truth.

Key Points to Remember:

Focus on emotional depth Integrate moments of tension and conflict Develop a strong, relatable protagonist

Final Thought: Keep writing. You'll get better, and your story has the potential to inspire and move readers. Don't let anyone discourage you from the path of writing.